Absence
by Hitsuiro Issa
Summary: Doumeki learns to accept what should be. But he's broken inside. douWata


Absence.

Summary: Doumeki learns to accept what should be. But he's broken inside.

Disclaimer: DOUMEKI HOW I WISH YOU WERE MINE. DX

-

Golden eyes flitter about as soon as they open to greet the rays of sun peeking through windows, somewhat searching for something - someone - else. Not finding anything, it settles back to gaze upward at the dull ceiling- and he sighs.

It's been a week, a month, a year (he isn't quite sure; the days are slow and time slips away like sand in his fingers) the last time he had seen a troublesome other- with a slim frame and dark hair and mismatched eyes, with the shyest and loveliest smile (he'd rather not think about him, but maybe not today). It's amazing how far he had gotten, without the complaining and the noise and the flailing of arms- without the soft touches and shy glances, awkward smiles and tender lips- and so, perhaps to spare himself another day of emptiness and forget, he decides to remember.

The wish was clear enough; "I wish to be with my parents again," the mismatched-eyed boy had said with such conviction that it raked his own heart- and he had feared what the price would be. He had thrown several glances at the Dimensional witch, seeking her refuse, but it is her job. And as long as the client pays, Yuuko would grant it.

He remembers the hatred and grief in his heart when the price finally left Yuuko's red lips; "In exchange you will disappear to another place, not knowing where you came from and who you had been, but with the safety with being with them again." She pauses. "Are you prepared to give that all?"

He remembers the glance the boy had given him, and he remembers the resolution swimming within those blue and golden eyes. As always, he had stood back, not saying anything and face devoid of emotion, but he's broken inside, and curses inwardly when the boy gave a nod. "I am."

So he disappears, just like that, and Doumeki barely had the time to scream at the boy, much less to tell him he loved him. That he's nothing without him. So when the winds cease, the smoke disperses, Doumeki clenches his fists and leaves the shop without another word.

He closes his eyes, wishing to see through the other half (a slender bond that tied him to his long lost friend), and sighs when nothing comes up. He wonders idly if it's really just darkness Watanuki was seeing, or he was too far away to seek him through. Nevertheless, Doumeki does not give up hope, closing his eyes once more, and suddenly a sob cracks from his lips.

-

April had always been a lovely start, what with the cherry blossoms all around, and the excited chattering of children and students alike for another school year. He stands before the crowds, silently longing for a slender hand between his own, and he makes his way towards the park, where he was most comfortable in staying.

He sits on one of the benches, slouching a bit with his elbows resting on his knees. Behind him is a river; a river of crystalline purity, with countless blossoming Sakura trees lining sides of the river, like tender hands supporting a child. He glances briefly at the spectacle before turning his gaze back onwards; he's broken inside.

He had a wish himself. Yuuko's orders were specific- on April first, wait for him. By the river. He had never doubted her in the past, and despite the hatred he harbored for the time witch, he had no choice but to follow. He wanted- desperately- to see the boy again.

The winds blow forcefully now, ruffling his dark hair, and he shields his eyes. Just as soon as it started, the winds are gone.

He is aware of the approaching presence behind him, so he stands and makes his way towards the Cherry blossoms, his golden eyes resting on the object of his despair- and briefly, his eyes widen in sweet surprise, and his hands are raised to hold the youth, but he realizes grimly that the boy did not- could not- see him.

A different dimension. He's there, he exists, but at the same time he's nothing of both. He clenches his fists at his sides, squeezing his eyes shut. He should be contented with this. It's the most of what he could have.

A few steps away. Doumeki could see him clearly now- a tall, willowy boy, with dark unruly hair and clear spectacles, and lovely mismatched eyes- and he wishes he could at least touch him, and realizes that he could. He reaches out, grasping the boy's arm, and he sees the bespectacled teen gasp (after all, they were but ghosts to each other; and despite the fact that one was a spirit seer, it wasn't what hitsuzen intended) before gently pulling the boy close, ignoring the fear and confusion flashing in his golden and navy eyes.

He ignores the smoke swirling around them, the winds that blew at full force against him, and the struggling of the said teen in his arms. It doesn't matter, and he's too desperate to realize his rudeness.

He plants a soft kiss atop the boy's forehead, ceasing the struggling. Hope and recognition swam in his eyes, enough to tear Doumeki apart. The boy mouths his name.

"Dou...meki?"

There isn't enough time. He wishes there was, but he had to make do. He holds the boy tightly now, burying his sobs in the fabric of the phantom's clothes, his wide shoulders shuddering. He says it loudly enough.

"Happy birthday."

He's gone.

-

Once a year. It is with a heavy resolve that he accepts the truth as it is.

He can only see him once a year.

Every April first, in fact, since Watanuki would wander towards the cherry trees, and it is those trees that held the bond between them.

It is enough. He can wake now, every morning, and live through life, with the knowledge of their meeting once every April.

It is good enough.

--

A/N: YEAH DIE YOU PLOT BUNNIES 8D

Short. And pointless. But a fanfic's a fanfic, period.

R&R. I'll write more if you do.


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